Mutts for Obama

The whole world is clamoring for news about the Obamas’ puppy.
Of course there is no a puppy yet. This is the whole point. But this is an important issue, ranking with the Iraq crisis, the economic bailout and the Oval Office redecorating plans.
One lucky canine is at this moment languishing in an animal shelter, waiting to become the nation’s next hero.
What kind of puppy should the Obamas get? What breed will be sure to make Sasha Obama happy and Malia Obama sneeze-free?
Debates abound, with dog-lovers, pet-experts, and Peruvian hairless dog-breeders all proposing the perfect breed for the young Obama daughters. The president elect has already famously declared that it will probably be a “mutt like [him].”
International politics also become mired in the decision, as dog breeds are analyzed and deliberated. Should the Obamas choose a Shih-Tzu/Chihuahua mix? Or an English Bulldog/Scottish Terrier blend? Alaskan Malamute is out of the question, naturally.
Whatever breed the Obamas choose will most likely disappear immediately from animal shelters as Americans snatch them up in a frenzy of Obamania.
It’s happened before. The dress from White House/Black Market that Michelle Obama wore on The View vanished from shelves and the black Iris & Ivy dress Sasha wore at Obama’s election night acceptance speech was almost instantly sold out.
Maybe the choice will spark spin-off Giga Pets and Tamagotchis. ObamaPets and Barack-o-Pets will become the newest fad among Americans in all walks of life. Middle school spelling tests, army training drills, high-powered coporate conferences will be interrupted with ObamaPets’ beeping (not high-pitched beeps like the virtual pets of the past, but deep and well-modulated like the voice of our own president elect).
Whatever great and far-reaching ramifications this historic choice may have, rest assured that you will hear every minute detail of the process.
Gear up for the next historic campaign: Fido 2012.
It’ll be a close race, since it most certainly will be running against Sarah Palin. We are all on the edge of our seats, waiting to see who Palin will name as her running mate: Garfield, or Tom (of ‘Tom and Jerry’ renown). On thing is for certain: the debates should be riveting.
(sidebar)
"I really don't care what kind of dog
Obama gets. It really frustrates me that the media are paying more attention to the dog than to Obama's economic policies."
Kristen Johnson, 21, senior International Studies major at PLNU